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Season 1, Episode 7
Confused Card
Air date August 5, 1997
Storyboard by John Holmquist
Written by David Feiss
Seth MacFarlane
Bill Burnett
Directed by David Feiss
Deane Taylor (Art Director)
Robert Alvarez (Animation Director)
Episode guide
Who Is Supercow?
The Molting Fairy

Confused is the 7th episode of Cow and Chicken.


Cow and Chicken go out of control after dropping one singular crumb on the floor so Mom and Dad send them to military school.


Cow, Chicken, and their parents are all sitting in the living room watching TV. Cow has eaten nearly all the chips, and Chicken is annoyed. Cow offers to split the last one, and Chicken agrees, but when they break it in half, a crumb lands on the floor. Dad immediately gets angry, and hollers that his kids are out of control for the mess they made. Mom and Dad make a decision: they pack Cow and Chicken into the car, and ship them off to Bamboo Shoots Military School that very night.

They are received by Drill Sergeant Heiney, who gives them both buzz cuts. Cow and Chicken get their fatigues and gear, eat disgusting food in the mess hall, and go to the obstacle course. Sergeant Heiney orders them to run through flaming tires. Later, he shoves them off a cliff, grading their impact holes when they land. He says they are pathetic, and orders them to do it again with full battle gear. Some time later, Cow and Chicken become hardened cadets, immune to all the physical abuse the drill sergeant gives them.

Cow and Chicken return home, and Dad asks how their time at military school was. Cow and Chicken notice Dad's shoelace is untied, and order him to do pushups, which he does. They then perform an inspection of the cleanliness of the house. Cow finds dust underneath the oven, and orders Mom to do pushups as well. Mom laments what her kids have become, and Dad promptly ships them off to Mrs. Beaver's Sensitivity Training.

Mrs. Beaver welcomes her new students and the lessons start. Cow and Chicken take classes to re-learn how to cry. But the training continues with butterfly impersonations, pantyhose application, and the proper way to shave legs. Cow and Chicken become dainty and more feminine. When Cow and Chicken return home, they start redecorating the house with frilly, flowery furniture and wallpaper. Mom and Dad are alarmed all over again.

Mom and Dad wake up in their bed. They tell each other about their strange dream, where Cow and Chicken were too tough, then became too soft. Mom is relieved the kids are fine as they are. But, Cow and Chicken are still affected by sensitivity training, shaving in the bathroom while singing "The Trolley Song" together.


Major Roles[]

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